A suggestion, reread your own posts. Your life sounds like a living hell of complete control by an alcoholic.There appears to be nothing worth saving at this point. Do you got to AA or Alanon meetings? Those may be really helpful to you . It's going to be hard enough staying sober, let alone under these circumstances. Focus on what you need..you call your own BF a bully ..who doesn't even care about your HEALTH, much less your happiness..these are problems that may be best addressed by leaving the relationship.