Heh.... I should have been more clear. Trying to explain some of this stuff is darn tricky.....
There are so many things that I'm finding that I didn't realize before that are happening now, it's amazing.
That's one of my FAVORITE things about sobriety! Un-frickin-believable how much there is to discover - about YOURSELF - in sobriety. To ever consider giving that up, for a drink, makes me sick to my stomach.
I didn't even touch on the meditation question - sorry bout that.
Early in recovery, I just couldn't do it. The idea of sitting still, in a chair (or on the floor, or etc etc), no music on, no tv on, no open talk playing, no web-surfing or computer work.....to just sit there / close my eyes / and try to clear my mind......man, no way. Being honest....it didn't feel good so I quit trying - period. I started putting myself in places though (like a retreat 2x per year) where meditation was the "goal" - it's what everyone went there to "work on." Those trips helped a lot...helped bring down my resistance.
I'll tell you this - I think meditation is PHENOMENALLY rewarding (and if it's rewarding......lol......I want MORE) but I don't devote enough time to it. I still find myself caught up in the hustle and bustle of life....missing out on the gift of sitting quietly and listening to my HP. Maybe that's just the way it's supposed to be......maybe I need to reorganize some priorities.....but I applaud you for asking about it. Meditation is one of THE things I neeeeeever evvvvvvvver did in my "previous" life......low and behold I need to incorporate it now.
I recently downloaded some Eckhart Tolle, Alan Watts, and a couple others in the hope that I could learn some new "methods." To start doing some meditating it helps to have a clue what it even IS (and I didn't really know what it really is).