Originally Posted by
Lizzaayy 
maybe the next guy i choose will be normal. oh, that is so far down the road, though.
Last guy was abusive. This guy is an addict.
We codependents have a tendency to keep in doing what we have been doing and somehow expect a different outcome. In otherwords, it's not a conincidence/bad luck that these 2 guys have been highly dysfunctional.
Therapy may be helpful to learn how to treat yourself better and learn new skills that will develop your inner "picker". Afterall, your child is going to learn how to let the world treat him, from you.