Feeling so unsafe and mad
Hi everyone. I'm glad you're here.
I'm feeling so frustrated, angry, and hopeless about alcoholism and codependency right now. I wish I could somehow get away from it all.
I'm 11 months into working on my myself and exploring this stuff, and I just wish I felt "farther along". Like better able to detach. I feel progress, but I'm still so upset.
I'm enraged about denial. How could my mother ignore, for 10 years, my father hiding vodka in shampoo bottles in the ceiling? When she'd been in treatment/AA herself?
How could my friend let her husband, who was obviously drunk whenever I saw him, care for and drive her children around? When she had been in Alanon for years?
How could my brother-in-law decide to have a child with someone who was drinking 10 beers a day? And only realize she was an alcoholic after he'd had a year of therapy?
Of course the answer is denial. I know it's a disease. I know it's a family disease, and that spouses get just as sick. I guess I'm just feeling so depressed at how powerful this disease is. And so angry at parents who can't protect their children because they are sick with alcoholism and/or codependency. I was that kid. It was a really awful way to grow up. I hate denial.
The world just feels really unsafe to me right now.