Alcoholics come in all ages, colors, social backgrounds, etc.
The point is, his drinking has affected your life, and profoundly.
He is the only one who can decide if he's an alcoholic for sure, and unfortunately, one of the main characteristics of active alcoholism is denial.
I cannot drink, period.
I am
not a social drinker, though I always drank in social situations.
I also did not address my alcoholism until I hit a bottom and became willing.
I highly encourage you to start digging into your own recovery. Get the focus off of him, and back onto you.
The best help I can be to anyone, including both of my adult daughters, is to be emotionally healthy and working my program of recovery.
I give them the dignity to make their own choices, regardless of how poor those choices may be.