I guess this topic is a hot button for me, because I HAVE been the Hillary Clinton/Rose Kennedy in my relationship. AH (see, I didn't say "my"
had a fairly long-term affair when my kids were growing up. He is also a very flirty person, and I know he started to fall in love with an employee, although I truly believe he didn't act on it.
I, on the other hand, have been completely 100% loyal. In fact, I have only had one partner in my life. There was one time, in the midst of his affair, when I met an AlAnon guy, and he was so much the opposite of AH, and I was feeling a bit like "why not--he's doing it" but I just couldn't. Not that I'm so high-and-mighty, but I couldn't see how that would do anything but complicate my life, especially as I was raising 4 kids at the time.
So the reason this whole topic interests me is, why do women like me stick around??? I have tried to understand, with the help of a therapist, what I get out of my relationship, and I can't answer that. There is a part of me that was happy that I could remain at a distance from him--still be the mom, raise the kids, be the family matriarch, and not feel obligated to him emotionally--or even physically.
Sometimes I feel like, if I do leave the relationship, or he dies from alcoholism, I wonder if I'll be lonely? I'm not familiar with loneliness, despite some of the crap that's gone on. But he's the "fun" guy, the gregarious one, the Mr Personality. I'm introverted, even too timid to ask a neighbor if they'd like to go to a movie or have a glass of wine. He is that half of me. Maybe that's what I'm "buying" with this relationship. A connection with the world, with no obligation for intimacy.
Hmmm...