Dallying, Welcome to SR.
You have come to a wonderful place, filled with folks who have so much experience and wisdom to share. Keep reading and posting, and I also highly recommend Al Anon. They put out a great book called Courage to Change. It's just daily meditations, but very much about putting the focus on what you can control...yourself.
Noday said it perfectly. You have absolutely no control over your Alcoholic Boy Friend. You cannot help him. Only he can help himself. My ABF pretended to stop drinking, and went to AA meetings just for show for quite awhile before I admitted to myself that he was doing those things just so I would stay. It's worthless if they do it for anyone other than themselves.
You are smart to state your boundaries, and to get help for yourself. Try not to take what your ABF says too seriously. Often, they will say or do anything to protect their addictions.
Putting the focus on you and criticizing you in any way are just ways to take the focus off themselves.
Take care of yourself, and once again, welcome