akrasia

So hey.

Husband has been worried about work lately, which is usually when he turns to drink. (He's been nominated to run for office again for the local ward. He just takes on all this stuff and doesn't know how to say no.)

I came home early this afternoon and found him napping--not unusual for this time of day, since on the days he works from home he always has a post-lunch nap.

But there was just that smell upon the air (though you could tell he'd tried to hide it). He woke to say hello and I stroked his arm and said, "So did you fall off the wagon, sweetheart?" and he said, "Just a little."

He said, "It's just that I have so much to do, I just need to sort things out before we go on our holiday."

I said, "No, you need to relax and finish your nap and then get back up on the wagon," and I gave him a kiss and he went back to sleep.

We're supposed to go out of town tomorrow for the weekend. Which, no, I'm not about to go on a holiday with Mr. Drunky.

I came up here to my study and telephoned some agents in town--there's a nice little apartment not far from here which I can afford. I made an appointment for a viewing on Saturday.

So I'm wondering whether I will have a talk with him when he wakes up. Part of me wants to say: "Sort this out--call your counsellor--or I'll leave."

The other part of me just wants to leave it alone, because arguing with a drunk guy is like trying to have a conversation with a dining room table.

Ugh. Again I say, ugh.