Originally Posted by
Jadmack25 
Forget the worry about "what if I am wrong and I walk away", because the chance of you being wrong is very, very small.......think instead of "what if I trust my gut, what if I am right, and I DON'T walk away".
You will stay with a lying, manipulating drunk and life will be miserable for you.
This really resignated with me. Thank you for making me see the flip side.
Between him and I...we're finished now. We had been finished a few times prior and always came back to each other. I was trying to learn to trust him again, this was our final go around.
I cannot trust him. At all. I tried (and tried and tried and tried, almost 4 years worth..) and nothing is changing.
I cannot live my life with someone whom I cannot have the utmost trust in. And I cannot ever live my life with someone who has an addiction of any kind. I can't and I won't. For my sake, for my kids' sake.....I have to jump off of this spinning merry-g-round. Sure the landing might endure a bruise or scrape...but those heal. A lifetime with a liar is sure to debilitate me if I let it, and I will not let it.
I think the mistake I made last time (other than trusting him) was that I stopped coming here. Thinking "oh, he seems SO much better, there's no need to go back to SR" WRONG WRONG WRONG!
Coming here for me is as much about MY healing as it is about HIM getting help for himself.
I almost miss my old 'handle' of Elsie. Not sure if I should go back to it, or stay with this one being that it's a new phase of recovery for me.
Just wanted to say a big
to everyone who replied! I had forgotten how much it helps to have the words and wisdom of people who know what I'm going through.
Feeling like you're going crazy is very lonely. I feel stronger and content knowing you're all in my corner.
