queenteree

Well, after yesterday morning's incident with AH again sleeping in the shed, and blaming me for everything, he pulls up in front of my house last nite about 6 pm with his good friend TL, who is another dirt bag alcoholic POS, who drives around with a huge cooler full of beer in his car. AH says since he lost his wallet the nite before, he wants his credit card statements to call in the cards stolen. I'm like "fine" and follow him upstairs to get them. I said to him "I want to see each statement you are taking" cause hey, you never know w/him, he could take one of my bank statements and have come skank call up pretending she is me (AH knows all my pertinent information) and they can get a debit card or something and clear out my money. I wasn't trusting the situation. Anyway, I see him sneak something in his pocket, so of course, when we go downstairs, I say I want to see it. He shoves it at me, says "here" and it's the last of his retirement money statement. I said "oh no, you are NOT taking any more money that will have to be split in the divorce!" He tries to wrestle it out of my hand, in the interim, cutting my finger somehow. In any event, I decide to give it to him, and not meanly, tap him on the cheek and say "use it wisely cause it's the last money you will ever get out of me" (it was not even in the remotest way a slap, just a slight tap as I said it, like "be gone"). Well, he starts screaming to his friend to call the police, that I hit him, saying "you saw that TL, she hit me!" and ranting and raving about calling the police. I go across the street to my neighbors, I say he's out of control, meanwhile he's out there saying we're both gonna go down and be arrested. Duh! I'm not intoxicated, I'm not violating probation, I didn't do anything, and he thinks we're both going to go down???? Anyway, I tell him just get out of there w/his dirt bag POS friend, he still screaming in the streets. My one neighbor, who is friends w/AH, comes over and says "this is your wife you're talking about" and AH goes off on how I'm not his wife, that I'm a sl*t, how I like to do all (graphic) sexually, etc. The neighbor/friend walks away from him and comes across the street to me and says "I'm sorry ..." he didn't know what else to say. So then AH comes over to my neighbor's house, spits at the ground near my feet and gets up in my face twice to try and intimidate me, guess cause I was calling is "friend" names. Anyway, my neighbor, a great guy who is on probation for dwi and hasn't drank in 4 years, really wanted to go at him, but was afraid he would be arrested to violating probation, so he called the police. The police come, they were gonna make him leave and notify his PO but AH starts saying "wait till I get out! i'M COMING BACK FOR YOU!!!" Well, with that, they handcuff and arrest him. He's in alot of trouble again now, and of course, it's all my fault according to him. And in my mind, I know it's not my fault, but he does have me brainwashed in a way that it is ... They really sometimes do a number on us mentally, that I don't think most people, even in Alanon, can truly understand. But now I'm thinking ... well maybe if I handled things differently, like that tap on the face ... things would not have played out this way.
I went to court this morning, his bail is set at $2000.00, he does not have that as far as I know, and none of his friends would either. He called my son to bail him out, but son was like "no way". There is a stay away order in place, and his court date is Wednesday. They recommend I go, in case the DA has any questions for me.
I need help in feeling that I'm not to blame for this...or am I????