i started reading this thread when it first posted earlier this week but i didn't have time to respond - i came back last night and read through some of the posts - i was forming my thoughts as i came to mspinkacres post and i felt she had answered for me - my son didn't get up one morning and say - hey today i think i will become a drug addict - my sweet, loving, compassionate, giving, smart, and kind son made a really, really bad choice and he is paying for it dearly - i had a close friend repeatedly call him a methhead - it would tear my heart out - no matter what he is still my son - calling him a derogatory term is not kind - someone on here i can't remember who right now has this quote as their signature - love the addict -hate the disease - it seems it is hard for most people to keep that separation