Originally Posted by
smith2b555 
I feel like I can't leave. I do love him. I knew him before all this and I know deep down he is so dissappointed in himself. Besides I don't have anywhere to go. Last night I got home and he was closed up in the bedroom and stayed to himself. All I could do was clean because thats what I do when I am stressed. I scrubbed the heck out of the kitchen floor. This morning all he said was " I'm sorry about this". I have heard that so many times......If I had a nickel........... Yesterday was a hard day for me. I get so fed up sometimes. We got into an argument a couple days ago. He said I was hoarding money. I do, I try to keep as much as I can out of his reach but just because we need to pay the bills and if he gets it , as you all well know its gone for his habit. He keeps telling me I need to take charge of the situation because he needs a leader. What? I am thinking about divorce but I hate the idea. We made a great team.....once upon a time. last time he did the methadone treatment he almost had it, then as he was weened down to very little he thought he could just stop cold turkey. Then the cycle started again. What was the last straw for some of you?
The last straw for me was a few days ago when my addict boyfriend called me names infront of my parents,he was high and he humilated me infront of them.Its not like he has never done that before but it was the first time infront of them.it was humilating because they dont know anything about his addiction and i kept begging him to stay calm because i didnt want them to know anything but he was so mad that he kept yelling and shouting they heard everything. it was my last straw because through our relationship i had covered up for him everytime he did crazy things or treated me badly i'de lie to them and to everyone because i dont want his addiction found out but it hit me that i cant go on like this forever and that he has gone totally out of control.