FWIW, I am currently on vacation in France....land of wine and song...from sun up to sun down. As I looked around me last night, I thought "you can drink, I cannot. You don't hide bottles in bushes, wake up with the most horrible sense of panic b/c you can't remember most of the night, you don't lie to those you love the most, alcohol doesn't rob you of your very soul....I thought "enjoy it if you want, I KNOW it would destroy all that I have worked for.
This may not be you, but it is me. I have been sober for 1 year, four months and 2 days and getting sober was very, very difficult for me. I never want to go through it again. BUT , MORE IMPORTANTLY, I am happier than I have ever been b4. Why would I want to go back to that hell? No thanks. It isn't worth it.