Welcome, pw773.
I remember walking out of a courtroom a few years ago and, for the first time, knowing the truth about myself. I was an alcoholic and I was doomed to pick up that next drink. I was awaiting a court date for another DUI while on probation for a previous DUI. That judge told me to look her in the eye to make sure that I understood that if I were caught drinking while awaiting that sentencing, I would serve the full jail sentence (5 years).
And I walk out of there shaking my head, thinking that this judge didn't understand much about alcoholism. The truth hit me. I knew what would happen if I drank, and I knew without a doubt that I would drink.
I knew that fear, consequences, wanting to be better, a sincere desire to stop drinking, was absolutely not going to work for me.
I knew I was doomed. Here is your life, Keith, the wreckage of it all around, and the only thing to look forward to was it just getting worse. And I knew I was going to drink anyway.
A short time later, lost in that desperate panic, I called a guy in AA who talked about a spiritual solution as being the only hope of a chronic alcoholic like him. Like me.
He took me through the BB, showed me the directions, listened to my experience and related his, and walked me through the 12 Steps. Like the book promises, I recovered and know a life beyond my expectations.
I've since been blessed with carrying that message, those directions, to others and watched them recover as well.
Camanche put it well. Rarely have we seen a person fail.