LTD, Thank you, you are correct and as my therapist says, you here (and her and my group) are my "memory". You hold what I forget. Yes, that IRA was the reason I held out, and yes, that IRA is gone, I lost that last year when he blew it all. I accepted that, but even at that time, I figured he was drinking himself to death, it would be only a matter of time, he'd lost 50 lbs in 2 mos., and was near death (he's not in good health as it is, cirrhosis and diabetes). Instead, he got the dwi's and got sober for a brief period of time. Last month, he weighed 252 lbs. He lost over 30 lbs in 18 days, not to mention fell 3 times on his face to where he was knocked out and rushed to the hospital (not by me, by the bars). There is a very good chance he will not live much longer ... and you know what? Maybe, just maybe, I am afraid that once I sign those separation papers, he will then die and I will not have gotten anything ...
Like I said, I will not agree to give him half my 401k, nor should he get half the house....he will fight me on this, or at least drag it out, cause he has no money, no job, no place to live, so he can't afford a lawyer ... living in the here and now also plays out to placing it in God's hands for a short time ... which is why I am taking a few days to think things over ...
I do thank all you long timers here for really making me look into myself ... I may seem stubborn now, but trust me, your wise words are sinking in, so keep them coming, please ..., I need that right now!