I was so complicit in denial for a while with my XAS that when he had a sleepwalking episode (during which he peed against a lamp in the bedroom), I actually believed his denials that alcohol had been involved and felt horrible about the side effects he was experiencing from his anti-depressants! I was doing google research about it, and suggesting to him that he go to the doctor to get the prescription changed, etc., etc., rather than opening my eyes to the reality of his secret drinking, his lies and deceit. Like Cayote's MIL, I, too, was so relieved there was a medical cause for what I would have considered unacceptable behaviour otherwise. Eventually, of course, more of the secret drinking became exposed and I did leave him. Like you, Freebuthurt (and probably all of us here on the forum), I am working at detachment and acceptance and am making some progress.