Hope you feel better FBH...and remember, only YOU know how YOU feel and you have a right and never, ever have to defend yourself to anyone, least of all an alcoholic! can you believe my son told me that? I feel so fortunate about that. as far as dating, if you concentrate on yourself and get yourself healthy, you will attract healthier people...i realize that i attracted this AH because of my view of myself....so I was the alcoholic magnet, therefore, i will not do that, ever, again...no point to repeat myself. My job is to work on transforming me and enjoying that ride....I hope you can do the same and you are young enough that you will attract a person that reflects how you feel about yourself!! you have a wonderful journey ahead!