I was instructed that I don't get to say "I'm sorry", hell, I'd been sorry all my life. Besides, they had all heard that thousands of times. What I got to say was, "I've harmed you and this is the harm I believe I've caused, can you please tell me what I can do to straighten this out?" The next thing I need to do is shut up and listen. I may know what I think I've done to harm that person, but I'm so selfish, I have absolutely no idea what it did to them. And after they've told me what it did to them, they'll also tell me how I can straighten the crooked path and make the books balance. That's what amends is about. It's not about, " Oh Gee, I'm sorry " I can assure you that wouldn't have set well with my wife or any other family member for that matter. When I sat down with my wife, I told her I knew that I had harmed her and we discussed what I thought the harm was, then I shut my mouth, while she let me know exactly what it did to her. Trust me, this is an awakening you do not want to miss!!! And then she told me what I needed to do to mend the broken path. I've been doing just that for quite a while now, and our relationship continues to grow. This is so much more than "I'm sorry" Or " Gee, that's in the past, can't we just let sleeping dogs lie?" Kinda like " Ma, ain't it grand that the wind stopped blowin, don't see nothin the matter here" This is about healing and recovering, and getting free and setting others free. Yes, there is a long period of reconstruction ahead.