Well, with you treating him so well, cooking great meals, offering to go on dates and doing the jobs he hates, why on earth would he want to change anything? You are giving him such a cushy comfortable pillow to land on, he has no reason to think he needs to do anything differently.
I realize this. This has always been my role. I homeschool our kids and only work about 3 hrs/day so cooking kind of falls to me. We don't have an antagonistic relationship and rarely fight. So I try to remain positive and build a positive relationship so our marriage won't fall apart.
He's more sad and down. Rarely angry except the episodes about once every 3 months, so there's no bad behavior for me to get angry at or react to. No reason for me to refuse to be nice or myself. Does that make sense?
I did find a local al anon to go to. I've not gone before for fear of ruining his practice if word got out, but now I know I must go since this keeps happening.