LovesToTravel...
I have had those thoughts too, I would reckon that quite a few of us have... But, I believe the stories of alcoholics that thought they could control it, and found they couldn't, often with disastrous results.
Problem is... how do we move past those thoughts? For me, AA has been huge in giving me a new purpose and direction... I'm moving on... I no longer bother with them, at least seriously.
Mark