My A was not supportive of my attending Alanon. The active A (alcoholic) is in denial. That didn't mean I had to live in denial anymore. Alanon was not a secret club to teach me how to manipulate my A. Not at all. Alanon was a public support group teaching me how to take care of myself.
My A WAS supportive. "Hon, you need to go to Alanon." Until I started going. As I started to be different, he started agitating for me to stop going. On one level, it's amusing.