Queentree,
Sending hugs your way that you were able to sleep and wake up refreshed with your sweet little ones in bed with you.
When my ex BF threatened suicide and pulled out the loaded .45, our situation got interesting and complicated in a hurry. I left the house, and I had with me what I needed because I had made a plan. 5 hours later the S.W.A.T. team removed him from my house. It was all over the news (for awhile) and it was really frightening for me and others.
What I learned during the following weeks was:
--Professional help is a good thing. I got some help right away - touching base with a counselor to make sure I was coping in a healthy manner.
--HIS recovery was HIS to own and manage. I stayed out of it as much as I could other than giving some background information to a psychiatrist when asked.
-- You're only the lead story on the news until the next BIG THING happens, and then most people forget about it. It went from "the lead story" to "last weeks news" in about 4 days.
--I think my most important lesson was learning who to talk to about it and who not to. I got a lot of good insight from others who had been in similar situations, mostly from recovery friends and others they put me in touch with. People who have NOT been thru this particular type of drama/trauma did me more harm than good. It's a scary, emotional, time and it brings out scary, emotional responses from inexperienced and narrow-minded people. I had one or 2 who told me again and again what I should have done or what I should be doing... and I had to pull out my arsenal of "you may be right" or "how 'bout that?" and walk away.
I was reminded of this when my sweet daughter-in-law to be was the first on the scene of a violent murder in her neighborhood. The victim ultimately died in her arms after being stabbed, and we learned later that the murderer was in the room with her. In the days following, she couldn't eat or sleep, and she was understandably frightened and confused. My son was at a total loss as to how to help her. I was on the phone with her and she said "you weren't there. You cannot possibly understand what I'm going thru or how I feel." And I said, "you're absolutely right. But I'm going to hang up now and help you find someone who will understand..." and I hung up, called the local police dept there and found her a counselor thru their Violent Crimes Survivors division. they connected by phone that day and it was wonderful. The VERY first thing they told her was to talk about it only to the counselor and one or 2 trusted healthy friends. It helped her immensely and she was able to deal with it.
Hugs to you - I understand how scary it can be. Years later I still have some triggers from my experience, but I am able to reach out for help and process them right away. My DIL tells me she does the same.