Thanks you for your honesty, it takes courage. Wish I could help... all I can say is my experience has been very similar to yours, and his reactions have been very similar. There are patterns, here.
With him, my world shrunk. Job, friends, everything else sort of tagged along that sickening ride. Most of the worst was secret. The only witness to my experience, the only person who saw me in all those years, never actually saw me. It was like looking at a reflection in a funhouse mirror.
I felt crazy a lot of the time. We lived in two realities. And our break-up has been the same, two realities. Mine doesn't miss me either, I don't think. I feel similarly to you... rejected; demeaned, again. Mine broke it off - I felt robbed of the empowerment of making that decision. And in our relationship, I often felt contempt from him. (And experienced similar abuse.)
Is that a way to live? It's not rational to want that. Hard to help it, I know. Habit. Investment. The weirdly intense bond that comes from all the crazy. Hope, the real killer.
Try this, maybe it'll help for a little while. Make a list of all the things you hated about living with him. Turn him into a monster. Later you can let yourself remember nicer things. Whenever you start missing him, remember something awful.
Can you maybe get away from your immediate environment for a couple of days? Stay with safe (i.e., non-judgemental) family or friends? Maybe some people who will remind you of who you were before you got caught up in all this? And who you can be again?
I've found it hugely, hugely helpful to be around people who value me. Working out what it all means, etc, will take longer. It's been a month since my break-up and I still don't know my a$$ from my elbow. But I have been reminded by my friends that I'm funny, intelligent, talented; that the ambitions I'd had weren't delusional; that my take on the news matters. When did you hear that from your guy?
You've been hiding for such a long time. You're still there.