Thank you for the responses. I don't know if I would be able to go to a doctor who specializes in this, seeing as how I am on state aid I think they want me to always go to my GP, but I'm not sure. I do believe that I need them, as I think I have been in a depression for the past few years and just hadn't realized it because I was so emeshed in it. Now I realize that my lack of desire to do much of anything is definitely not normal, and I am wanting to change that. I would not be suprised if it was truly a chemical inbalance because as I have said I have done plenty of drugs in my past, including ecstacy which I know is VERY harmful for the seratonin receptors in the brain.
I also have panic attacks some times, mostly when I am driving on the interstate. I get terrified and think I am going to die, and get a strong urge to pull over to the side of the road. I am starting school in March and it is a 40 minute commute through the busy highways of St. Louis, so I am going to have to conquer that fear as soon as possible. I don't want my travel every day to be such a battle. I need to be a better role model for my young daughter. I do take care of her very well, but I don't do all the things that I should to take care of myself at all.
I don't know how much of my depression is situational, as I do feel that I would feel much better if I wasn't living in the chaos of a house with an active alcoholic in it. These are all things I guess I should discuss with a therapist.