Hi all. I am glad I found this place as reading threads is reassuring that I am totally not alone out there.
3 years ago I married an alcoholic and had very little understanding of what the disease really involved. I spent the whole relationship on a roller coaster as so many of you describe and wondering if I was going mad from the things my husband was expecting me to believe. I also allowed him to blame me for the chaos in the relationship and did all the things that I now realise its best not to do when you are with an alcoholic.
Just over a month ago things finally came to an end - I had been ready for this for many months but when my husband came home, clearly legless and falling all over the place, claiming he had not been drinking or taking drugs but that he was poorly and needing a nap, I called an ambulence. He refused to go with them to the hospital and I ended up issuing an ultimatum - that going with them was the only thing he could do at this stage that might save our marriage. He didn't go - so I packed my bag and got me and my children (from a previous relationship) out. We did not return to the house till he had gone.I should add that the house is mine, I have paid the mortage on it by myself for more than a decade - it was odd walking out of my own house but also very liberating!
Since then life has been more settled. I have heard nothing but lies and blame from my XH so I communicate with him very little. He has gone back to the country of his birth so I am not worried about unwanted visits from him as he is in the USA and I am in the UK. Its just so nice to wake up in the morning and not have to deal with chaos and to come back to a house where I don't find him laying on the bed or the couch doing nothing. It is also good to finally realise that I am not to blame for the roller coaster that was our marriage. More than anything else it is great to know that my children now have the undivided love and stability that they deserve and no longer have to hear their mum losing her temper or crying because of the antics of step dad.
I hope I can gain some help and support from this place - I hope I can offer it to others who have lived through the same Hell I have. Its good to be here.
for reading.