Oh you guys - you are all so smart!
dollydo - it is hard to share. I don't like to share *anything*! I'm terrible at it.
Alice - one of the things I have so much difficulty with is figuring out what my gut is telling me, and then trusting it. I'm sure they are having a great time and I know for certain the 11yo is sooo happy to be with his dad at the game.
L2L - I think you are right too. I did want to go along but I didn't want to go if it would drive my xah's anxiety through the roof because then he'd leave or look miserable and that would have ruined everything. I would like to move to a place where we can be with the kids together from time to time and it be OK.
Wicked - as it turns out he has already called me asking if I wanted to come to the game. Kids are running around with friends, the one friends mom is there and I'm sure she was friendly/nice with xah. If I know him he was probably also worried about his reception here etc. etc. I'm surprised he called but he sounded reasonable so I'll go and be reasonable too and maybe it will bring us one step closer to being parents to our children and not enemies across camp.
Anyway - I'll go for a little while and leave with the little boys, or just leave if something weird happens.
Thanks everyone. I was having a little mini crisis there for a minute. It is amazing how we can be cruising along and then some small interaction with the ex can be such a curve ball. Yikes.