An alcoholic ex used to arrive at my house to DEMAND sex. I had no sense of self worth and gave in - how desperate for "love and attention" I was.
Have you read "Codependent no more" by Melody Beatty? excellent book. Alkies relate to people with specific traits- its a slow dance of suffering and abuse. The good news is that it only takes one to stop the dance and there is much hope for the ones willing to be honest with themselves.