Hi Jag
I have been following your post and I am so sorry about your situation.
Your initial question was - are there success stories, can a marriage survive?
My backgraound short and sweet - my RAH raging A, we meet, fell in love married, after 4 years I was totally done. I had no idea who this crazy person was and why I was with him. I thought he would just stop drinking, what was the problem? right? Nope it doesn't work that way. We went through all the typical insanity - it was textbook.
So I left him cold turkey, no contact for 6 months & filed for D. A turn of events brought us back together. He has been sober for 16 months. And despite some issues with commucation and some left over resentments blah blah blah. He is a different person - a sober person.
HE wanted sobriety - whether that came from hitting his rock bottom, losing his family or a combination or just finally being sick of being sick. He made the choice stop drinking.
I had nothing to do with it. There were no ultimatums, no threats, no minipulating. He wanted it. And with his sobriety we became a family again.
We have our struggles. Sometime really bid ones. I still have to deal with a lot of old pain and with the reality that he may relapse. It is not easy, but I am happy with my life now.
The pain I have been through has made strong enough to handle anything (mostly) that comes my way. I like that part.
And he takes care of himself and his sobriety - it is not my responsibility.
That is the only way it can be Jag. Nothing you say or do will make him choose you over his addition.
Get your sh*t together, put the hurt away and be done.
You never know what can happen - but take care of you first!
HUG HUG:ghug3