Hope you keep getting help for yourself tormentedmirror:-)
In active addiction and in dry spells i was a liar, cheat, thief, selfish etc...the world revolved around me and anyone i came in contact with was definitely not better off for it...that said i always had "good intentions" and was certain that i wasn't that bad a guy, i mean it's not like i was killing anyone?!
In hindsight it was impossible to actually have a meaningful relationship with another human being because i didn't have a clue who i was, didn't really know how i felt and at the end of the day i didn't really care...so numerous declarations of love and friendship really meant nothing to me...although i had learned how to go through the motions so for all intents and purposes could at times seem quite sane and mature...
Alcohol became my friend, lover, child, higher power...not really any room for anyone or anything else...
It's great that you don't feel disdain for alchies/addicts...getting rid of resentments is always a real move forward but do stay away from those of us who aren't recovered in the future and save yourself a lot of hurt;-)