Thanks for your advice everyone. Yes I have been to one Al Anon meeting and am going again tonight (and meeting him for a coffee afterwards as he has AA in the same building) In the meantime however I'm very confused. The chemistry between us at the moment is very strong (probably because for the first time in 15 years we can't have each other) and the freedom and relief from not trying to influence him (if he's going to drink he's going to drink - whatever I do or say) means we are both loving talking to each other. Trouble is it's SO refreshing, so intense, so open, that I can feel myself falling in love with him all over again when in reality I haven't allowed myself to be "in love" with him for a long time, because I suspected him of being a lying unfaithful cheat - which he was!
It's such a muddle. Maybe I should stick to yours (and my own) advice and just carry on as I am and see where it takes us. One thing's good, whatever happens next he's sober now. He came to see the girls last night and I realised without even looking for it that his breath smelt of normal breath for the first time in I don't know how long. And the good news is that the first time he turns up and "the" smell is back, I can just say go away.
Thanks again for your input xx