WOW!! If I only had the time to go into real detail about me own personal experiences with this same issue.
Allow me to shorten the story to only a few lines; My current wife at about 6 years and two children, Had an affair with a man we worked with. It was short term and was strictly physical. When I found out about it I was devastated! Hurt deeply, as I truly trusted her! After the initial shock and anger ect.ect.. I wanted her to admit it and seek my forgiveness, neither of which she was able to do! The resentment within me went on for a year or longer. My choice was clear I could either divorce her and move on with my life, or I could FORGIVE her (even though I didn’t think she deserve it). It was a struggle but I chose to forgive her, love her and continue to build our family. I am still convinced I made the right decision! We will soon celebrate our 26th anniversary. We have never been more in love and I can’t imagine life without her. As far as your emotional voice and your logical self, sometimes you may just have to tell them to “shut up”.
As far as people I don’t have an intimate relationship with. I try to use the same logic I do all within my power to forgive them (that way resentment doesn’t build up in me) and the rest is up to them. There are some folks I just prefer not to hang around. In my opinion it takes the grace of God to truly keep an unforgiving attitude out of our hearts.