It's great you posted here and I did some horrible things when I was out drinking, but something you said in your post stuck out to me.
Originally Posted by
SWMNBN 
Last week I made a really bad decision. I went out got drunk and slept with a total stranger. It wasn't something I intended to do. It was something that happened.
See, it didn't just happen. You made the decision to pick up that first drink and if you are true alcoholic, then you won't be able to predict how much you drink and what happens when you do.
I had to change who I was or the same "me" would drink again. Maybe this is true with you too?