Thanks everyone for your welcome... and your advice. It is all very much appricated. Let me say that I have tried a couple of times in the past to get sober... it is something that I really want.
I started therapy for this reason. I fought hard to start drinking less... and when I discovered less isn't enough because it always leads to more and causes me to be mean ... what was enough was me feeling the way I feel about myself.
I know if I stop drinking because of what happened last week. Then sooner or later I will go back to drinking. I have to stop because I want to be a better and a healthier me. I am on that road. I am attempting this one little hill at a time.
The only thing I can say is that in this moment I am not driinking. I have not been drinking in the past 4360 mins (3 days).... and I can hope that I won't do it in the next 1440 mins. But, right now... this moment is the only one I have.
I am sorry for what I did last week. I am not sure about the decision to tell my husband or to not tell my husband. But, I can tell you one thing... the potential pain I have caused him is enough to keep this moment real for me.
And, for those of you who asked... yes he did use protection.
Thank you everyone..