Hi
3jen 
I understand how you must feel, although I have not gone through this myself. It seems you are in a catch-22 situation, that is, he is sober but he is practically not present in your life. Is this how you feel?
I have found that healthy life is about balance. When we spend most of our time and energy on just one thing, there are other things that get neglected. Perhaps you feel neglected? I don't think you should feel guilty about that, or about wanting a well-rounded life that includes a companion in it.
The question for you, though, IMO, is how well-rounded is your life? Do you have a place to go to during the day, such as a place of employment? Do you have friends and family who you enjoy spending time with and do you do so on a regular basis? What are you doing with your life while your spouse is at his meetings?
Have you gone to Al-Anon and learned about your self and how you are living your own life, rather than focusing your experience on what he is doing?
Please know that none of what I have said here is said in judgment. They are only questions you can ask yourself to see if they apply to you. I hope you feel better soon.
P.S. Have you thought about perhaps creating a "Date Night"?