It is posts like the one from Lexie that, while they kinda knock you down off of your high horse, they make you realize that yeah, maybe I am getting a little (or a lot) ahead of myself. I guess I knew last night that maybe I was but I also wanted to believe that I will get through this. I AM trying very hard to accept and work the steps, read my book, go to meetings, search my soul and take stock of why I have kept coming back to the drink...as I have learned on this site, this is not easy nor is it going to be easy but with the help of all of my resources, including this site, I will find my way and until then I will keep on keeping on.