I absolutely love this thread! It is so all about me. I am 24 days sober and 2 weeks into trying AA for the first time. I have "taken a break" from drinking many times over the years and always with the intent of going back to the wine I love so much after my body gets clean of all the alcohol. As many have described, I start back intentionally and I love wine anew - but within a few weeks or a month I am back to wanting more and more until I am drinking every night and looking and feeling like crap.
The past couple of years I have felt that my health is suffering from the years of drinking and I have been very worried about my health. So 3 weeks ago I decided to stop drinking and a deep truth inside told me that I have to give-up the idea of the "moderation test" for good. But I love wine and would love to be a normal drinker and 3 weeks ago I still entertained the idea that maybe moderation could work. Why I thought this is crazy because it has never worked in the past and I hear it hasn't for most others where I am at. But now after 3 weeks sober and 2 weeks of AA I am slowly releasing the thought that in order to be sober I have to hold onto the idea of someday testing myself yet again with moderattion. Totally new to me is the thought that has recently entered my head that maybe - just maybe - I could live without wine and be happy and feel much better in body and spirit.
Plus, if moderation means drinking only 1 - 2 glasses of red once or twice a week at most - then I'd rather not drink at all!!! I don't want just 1 glass of wine, I want 8 or 9 glasses.