Coyote, you are so right. The whole reason why this is going on in the first place is because of fear. Landlord couldn't face me so he snuck around behind my back. He couldn't handle my statement of a boundary so he retaliated in petty ways. He couldn't communicate his fears and ask for help from me so he sent his flunkies in to play bad cop and rough me up emotionally.
He has since sent some backpedalling emails to me today first denying things that happened and then admitting to them but giving "poor me" answers as to why. No actual apologies, though, and worst of all he makes sure to add additional infractions he thinks I've done that he says he's willing to overlook.
This is the crazymaking that triggers me straight to the land of insanity.
I've decided to take his backing off, though, as a chance to buy myself a little time more time to find a new place rather than push him to break my lease early. I will still have to give notice to leave at the end of next month and will probably incur more petty behavior from him when he realizes the rent he's losing so I hope I don't have to wait the whole month to go just for comfort reasons.
Now comes the wicked hard part....being still and letting HP light the way.
My mind swirls a mile a minute and I can only think there is no way this will all work out. It all worked out before somehow, surely it will again, right?
Be still. Be still. Be still.
Alice