I hear you totally Jane...I had an evaluation at work the other day and don't ask me how but it was tops, the best one I have had in 6.5 years at my job...my boss said I am positive and fun and bring a good image upon the company. OMG when I told dh that we both laughed because in the midst of my disorganized house and mind, I have not been positive or fun...I have been a down right b'tch and nothing more. I know for certain that even my entire neighborhood knows that I am a drunk because anytime any one of the neighbors has come to my door in the evening or on the weeknend I have been blitzed and then asked dh the next day if he "thinks they noticed"...lol.
That blog is only a small part of my experience and did not include a lot of the horrendous behavior that I had shaped into my "normal" drinking life.