I read your blog, Mama36. I use blogs a lot to help myself "get things out there" and work on stuff. It does help, doesn't it?
I didn't like who I was when I was drunk, either. I was kind of a wild, loopy (sometimes mean) drunk, which is really ironic since I'm a pretty nice, warm person. Alcohol really distorts our personalities. I'm happy to leave that "person" behind.