...And I am so happy that I did. I went to my very first AA meeting and it went a little like this...
I pulled up in front and there was a man sitting outside at a picnic table waiting, with him there I felt obligated to follow through and get out of the car. Had he not been there I may not have. They told me that the meeting started at 7:30 but to my surprise it did not begin until 8:00...uggh. The man and I talked a bit and I felt very emotional so I went out for a smoke before meeting time. Well! A whole bunch of people showed up...ALL MEN...but I stayed and there was a wonderful man named Mike...he has been sober for 8.5 years and he gave me some insight on what to expect. Once the meeting started everybody made me feel VERY WELCOME and as they went through their turns for sharing, Mike's turn came up and he directed his words at me and how they can help me and some of his experiences...the next person did the same and then the next and then the next...OMG it was amazing. I didn't think that I could conger up the nerve to speak but I DID IT...in tears the entire time but I did it. It felt so good to be in a room full of people who knew exactly where I was coming from and had been where I am and are trying to get better now. I saw some people who have been in the program several times but are still there trying to live one day at a time and I saw some people with a lengthy period of sobriety. There were some very touching and sad stories mixed in with a laugh or two here or there. It was AMAZING and I am so thankful to you for all of you helping me get to this point. I feel happier inside tonight and like I found out what is wrong with me and now I have this journey to take in order to get better. I'm a person who suffers from an illness and that illness is alcohol.
You would not believe it, but Mike wrote a note in a BRAND NEW 4th Edition Big Book with his phone number (he is married and very much there to help) and a note that I am no longer alone and he gave me the book! What a nice gesture, what a great thing to do for someone. He talked to me afterwards as did several of the other men there; they told me the days and times of the women's meetings and said that there are many great ladies there that I can become close to and could ask to sponsor me. Mike said if I need help before I get a chance to meet with the ladies I can call him but to make sure to try to connect with the other women and find a sponsor...a noble thing to do for a person in need, I thought.
Anyway, I am rambling. I am just SO grateful that I went and that you all helped me to get there. Thank GOD that man was sitting outside! I was ashamed for what I have become...but now...there is NO SHAME in trying to get better.
I am going to stick and stay and make it pay!!!!
Thank YOU YOU YOU so much! This is one of the best feelings of my life, honestly!
Donna