I'm 4 1/2 years in. Before that, I quit for nine months, then relapsed for a year. I relapsed because I didn't change anything in my life except for drinking. I still hung around the same guys who still drank themselves silly, and I dated a girl who was a coke-head. Not exactly a recipe for success. I've thought about drinking again. I could probably do okay with it for a month or so. Okay, I'm being liberal with that estimate. Honestly, the main reason I haven't relapsed is that I'm absolutely terrified of what will happen if I take that first drink.
You should read lildawgs thread on mourning the loss of alcohol- specifically, the steps in the grieving process. I think you'll find yourself somewhere in there, which may help make more sense of what you are feeling. Feelings are sooooo much easier to deal with when we know where they are coming from and why.