Originally Posted by
NightandDay 
It's a struggle though. It really is. I have to be very careful to not skip over myself in the process of changing my perspective. My habitual perspective is negative right now, and that is what I want to change. But I really lose my way if I just try to flip my perspective. I get EXTREMELY anxious and then worry that I'm trying to force myself to feel something that I just don't feel. Does anyone identify with this? I can't flip a switch and go from "glass half empty" to "glass half full." There is a step in between that I havent' yet really been able to articulate. . . I know it involves me getting in touch with my feelings when something is perturbing me. . but things perturb me so much, this is quite a tall order. . .
My axw used to say I was the most negative person she'd ever met, and she was right, I was.
Now, and for the last few years I'm pretty damned positive, if I do say so myself.
My life certainly hasn't suddenly gotten better. I live in a tiny 1 br apt with a bunch of college kids. My 9yo daughter has the br and my bed is in the living room. I drive a 10yo car and am 58 and started over with NOTHING just about 3 years ago.
Heck, I just remembered, I don't even have a frickin' job right now!
I have owned homes my whole adult life, and NEVER bought a USED car till 4 years ago. I have had it GOOD my whole life till these last few years, but I was always mad, scared, and unhappy.
I didn't suddenly do a complete 180, In fact I believe that before I only had a SLIGHTLY negative outlook, maybe just skewed 1 or 2 degrees from zero or neutral, but cumulatively it added up over the years.
I believe EVERYTHING in life is a matter of PERSPECTIVE. I began to change the way I talked to myself in my head, I made a conscious effort to stop negative thoughts, and replace them with positive thoughts. And don't laugh, I bought "The Secret" on DVD and listened to it 6 hours a day.
Not a 180 degree change in perspective, only a few degrees from neg. to pos. I have changed my PERSPECTIVE. The other thing I did was to practice GRATITUDE. I am GRATEFUL for my little apt., I'm NOT HOMELESS.
I am grateful for my 10yo retired police cruiser, it runs GOOD, it's FAST, it's SAFE, and it commands respect from all the other idigits on the road.
Really the only thing in my life that has changed is my PERSPECTIVE, and really only a little few degrees.
I am the most blessed person I know, I expect the best outcomes and am OK if that's not what I get.....but mostly the best IS what I get!
Oh BTW, it's not GREAT everyday, but it's pretty damned good MOST of the time. And that's plenty good for me. I am however practicing, practicing, practicing, and believe it will keep getting better.
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote