i've never really been content where i am, with who i am, or with who i am with. it's always something missing. something else out there. it's easiest for me to focus this on another person.
Perhaps what is missing is a healthy "you". When we feel good about ourselves, when we feel happy and at peace with our life...just as it is, not needing another person to fulfill it, when we are not lonely just because we are alone...that's when we make good choices and can set high standards for what we will and will not allow in our lives.
Recovery helped me to do that, and I have a feeling you are closer than you think to being able to do that too.
Working the steps is not about learning to "cope" with addiction and other people, it's about getting ourselves healthy so we can embrace life and all it brings, good days and bad, and wake up tickled pink every morning, just grateful for another day of adventure and beauty.
Working the steps helped me become a person I never ever thought I could be. It took me a while to get to know that stranger called "me", but the steps helped me do that and I have learned to like her, warts and all.
Stick with it, girl, and I promise your life will get better. It's not just MY promise, it's the promise of the program.
Hugs