longwayfromhome

A few months ago I left my partner and moved to another state. I was wanting to start a new life but slowly fell back into my old one.

I did not drink for a while, nor did I smoke pot. Slowly loneliness got to me and I started drinking, then my ex-partner sent me some pot and I was back into it.

I went to my first AA meeting a bit more than a week ago, and have since attended another meeting. I have been sober from alcohol for that time. But I still have the other stuff I do, mainly the pot, tobacco and lots of coffee.

This is really starting to bug me. I feel like I am being held back, and that I am worthless. I have no friends and get very lonely. A good job seems like a dream now - especially with rampant drug testing in this town. I do have a social activity I do once a week which helps and for which I am mostly straight for.

I asked God to help me with the alcohol and he did help. I asked for His help with the other stuff but no good yet. I don't know what to do. I met a guy at my first AA meeting who really impressed me - should I go to him and ask for his help? Because somehow I have to be free so that I can be who I should be.

Maybe I am not an alky. Maybe I am just a drug user? Does it matter? Is working the steps something I can do by myself or do I need another person to be involved?

Thanks for listening.