Precious Possession...
As I continue to grow in my recovery then one thing has remained a constant, my 'precious' sobriety.
In fact as I have got further into sobriety then I have noticed that my sobriety has become even more precious to me. For as I have gained all of the positives of staying sober and learning to deal with and live a life free from chemical friends, then my appreciation for my sobriety has increased. I know that all of the things that I have in my life now, like my car, job, self-respect, happiness, University place, freedom, would all be stripped away from me if I ever lost my precious sobriety by taking a drink.
I have no intention of taking a drink today and as long as I keep working my recovery how I need to, and reaching out when I need to, then I'm pretty confident it should stay that way. I'm not complacement though and I'm ever aware that complacency would spell the beginning of the end for this alcoholic. That is not to say that there is any fear there either, rather just a healthy respect, that for me then I have to make sure I never forget how alcohol would destroy my life if I ever let it back in.
I live a life now that alcohol plays no part in. I don't need to use a chemical to change my mood as I have learned to live life on life's terms 'one day at a time'. It isn't always easy, it would be easy to resort to a chemical crutch to take away uneasy feelings and emotions, but for this alcoholic then that ain't a viable option. I have to work through it safe in the knowledge that the strength, clarity of mind and sense of peace of mind will be worth more than the fake fleeting buzz of alcohol and drugs.
I have no intention in going back to nights spent in police cells, waking up wishing I was dead and skulling super-strength lager at 7.30am outside the shop in the rain with a blocked nose and terible sinus pains from all of the coke and pills that I shoved up my nose the night before.
I'm grateful to be a recovering alcoholic and grateful to be sober. My sobriety is undoubtedly my most precious possession.
Peace