Goodenough, all I can say is, relapse happens before they take that first drink again ... my AH, who was sober for almost 10 mos. just recently relapsed, and is back to the same old verbally abusive ways (you can read my post of today if you want to be filled in). His actions started changing about two weeks ago, and I swore he was drinking then, although he didn't look it or sound it. Now it is full blown again. Like Chrris said, my AH never cursed or was verbally abusive when sober, and he was sober once for over 15 years! Once my AH started this about two weeks ago, I knew if he wasn't drinking then, it was a matter of time. And I was right. I agree w/Laurie, I should have listened to her and others a long time ago, and let Kevin live in a sober house or something till well over a year sober ... if he could have lasted that long.