Hi there.
I can relate to your post. I didn't want to ever feel 'pressured' to have to attend meetings. That is the problem that I often find. I guess it's an honour in many ways and many would jump at the chance... But I tend to go to new meetings and the first few I really enjoy as I don't really know anybody there so it's fresh and I don't feel 'pressured' into conforming to fit in with any clique. I then usually do really well at the meetings and get lots and lots of thanks for my shares and that I'm at a really good place in recovery, I then usually get asked to main share, Which is great apart from it gets a little cliquey and the feeling of being able to not be tied down to the meetings dissapears and I feel obliged to turn up and feel bad if I don't go.
It sort of spoils the whole thing for me and the beauty of it all dissapears and something else, more cliquey starts to form. I ain't in it for that as I like to feel that I'm my own man and I can choose to go to AA if I want to and not because others make me feel obliged to. I guess it's a positive situation really. AA is with me daily whether I choose to go to meetings or not. That's what helps keep me sober ona daily basis.
It was a real mind f*ck in early sobriety as I was made to feel like I was going to relapse if I stopped attending meetings very regularly. Many there expect me to have relapsed when i go back but it has often been passed down through the grapevine of my sober time as there are many of the same people at the new meetings I go to. It's a very close nit thing, very few young people in AA in UK. Certainly from what I've seen. I can understand why and it's a shame.
I can relate to you though. I guess some people are more needy than others.
Nice one on your sober time.