I guess the reason I posted that I don't think of it as a disease is because I don't want to be shooed away by a sort of "cop out" I might write up in my head to try to play the denial game a little bit longer. If you know what I mean. I do understand it is genetic. That makes sense.
I've been using alcohol for a crutch for about a year now. Drinking every single day. I've managed to go two days with no drink in the last year of trying to stop. I've also been worried because I've heard you can actually suffer from major problems going cold turkey so I'm not sure if it's a good idea to just stop.
I went to an AA meeting but I saw a lot of people and I couldn't hear what people were saying. Part of what has brought this on and hwat has made it grow so much is that I am hearing impaired. I have a real difficult time with it. I prefer to get support online which is why I cam here.
I've created a lot of habits around alcohol that I need to break. And I'm coming to terms with being 39 years old and not being able to hear. I'm basically deaf. And most people don't believe me because I don't sound deaf.
I've got a lot of great things going on in my life that alcohol helped me with. It kind of gave me the guts to push forward.
But I just want myself back.