Hi Goodman!
I know the feeling of being tired. I remember when I was finally sick and tired of being...sick and tired. Get yourself to an AA meeting and see if what they say there makes sense to you or not.
"Written by you"
Alcoholism runs in my family. My mother, grandparents on both sides and several uncles on both sides have all been alcoholics. I've always been very leary and suspicious of developing a problem myself. I was surprised to find myself swept up in it.
Isn't your above paragraph just another example of how tricky this disease really is? It runs in your family deeply, but you were surprised to find yourself "in it". Why were you surprised? I say this b/c I had a very similar experience, but once I got sober, I realized that I was an alcoholic before I even took my first drink...alcoholism was already in me through my genes.
I've found a solution for my alcoholism and I've been sober now for almost 9 months thanks to AA.