I don't know if this will help or not, but thought I'd throw in my perspective as a female. I think one thing that is always helpful is to let her know she's being heard. Mainly that involves listening. We often just have to talk it out (and if something bothers us greatly, maybe more than once) and then we can begin to let it go.
We're all about relationships and feelings, and the best thing in the world is being able to talk about what we're feeling with our mate. It's the way we process it and so try not to take it TOO personally. When we talk about it calmly, it's really an attempt to connect. Of course, if there's alot of animation (yelling, giving that look, cold silence, etc.), that's another message.
Good luck!